thinking a lot about those past memories, happy times spent together. well, seems like its over. and if you are really happier with them, then just go. i'd rather you be happier with them then to feel stuck with me. just tell me straight out truthfully that you want to leave. its better for one to suffer then  two of us to right?
'if forgetting me will give you freedom,
oh tell me goodbye, tell me goodbye'
big bang, tell me goodbye

monday
had morning training. was a bit late, cos couldn't wake up. anyway, went to school in pe shirt. trained a bit. toe hurt. idk why. pe, we did 3 rounds on the outer lane, and was already dying! did volleyball. hand hurts so much after that! stupid volleyball! so went home at 3.35. nothing much to say.

tuesday
had morning training. 6.30!! wth. was supposed to be there at 6.30. but was a little late. abbicia, renie, jacob was already there, no actually was walking behind her all the way! the school was so quiet. so scary. and so we sat there for a while.. talking... studied a bit. cos had amath test after that. just did a simple drill and tried to do halfcourt. this girl, just walked in front of us and sat down there. haha! well, amath test was hard. but what to do? its amath..... nothing else to say for today.

wednesday
well, classes was okay okay. had emath test, well, its hard! congruence and similarity. hope i do okay. lit, we were scolded for being late... but ms tan gave us m&m chocs!! so nice! one packet each! that's where i got the chocs from btw! had lunch with xiulin and meiyi. changed, got ready for training. trisha, thanks a lot for coming for training. could not have done it without you. well, after all that has happened, guess training is still the place and time that i can relax and not think about all the problems and worries. that's one thing i'll miss when i stop netball. will lose the place and time of 'refuge' where i can just not think about all other stuff. push out all the unhappiness inside. and just enjoy. and today's training, jacob, thanks for all the encouragement. so training, we did 8 rounds. stamina is horrible! then had steps. 4 sets. did some other drill, idk how to explain, also 4 sets. team was divided into 2, so one group each. split into 4 groups at 4 points, then threw either a lob or straight pass. hmmm... how to throw a ball with the hand just going out in front and not to the side? and how to not spin the ball???? split into groups of 3, did some passes. 3 to each group, 2 throwers one. then jacob, julia and i did some GA drill. okay, i cannot shoot anymore! was so tired! and thanks for being so encouraging and patient. it really helped you know. just wanted you to know that. finally the shooter, defender, attacker drill. euginia was the only gs, so she played gs with all of us, and i played gs when jacob was ga. haha! need to work on communication, but think we're alright as a team. it was so fun!! working with you. the last part of training, she asked us to stand in one line with our bottles, and the team was somehow told that we were doing suicide run during the break??? so weird. but haha! already knew we were drinking water only. so she told the team to just stand in a line, then said drink water! whole senior team was like' huh? no need to run?' or ' run and drink'?? haha!! funny expressions!!! OMG! walked to the bus stop with trisha and jacob. we did something terrible! haha! so any way, thanks a lot to the two of you, for training! :)
abigail, yoges, better come for training soon okay!
went home. was so tired! grand dad came over for dinner, so only started doing work at 8? till about 10. then just went to the bed and slept! the effects of sleeping so early, when i'm used to sleeping late? woke up at 2am and 5am! looks like my body is used to a few hours of sleep only.

thursday
dispite the long sleep, still felt tired today. guess long sleep has no effect! history test was okay. hope i got the correct words for fill in the blanks. and at recess, met yoges outside her class. talked for a brief moment then went down. thanks for accompanying me down to the canteen and talking to me. you really helped to brighten my day. and if there is something wrong, can tell me okay!! don't stress yourself too much. chinese was fun!! lin lao shi told us a lot of funny jokes and stories. i can never enjoy chinese more! really! chinese lessons are great now! thank you. ve, went to the ava room with 3d. sat with kim and xiulin, behind, qiying and lena. qiying, lena, paintbrush!!! OMG! i suddenly miss 2c, and the time i played with the paintbrush with them. and off course, the time when we were so close was when we were both in 1c/2c. recess time.... it hurts to think of it, after what we have become now. for ve, we watched a few videos. on beauty. like chinese feet bounding, the long neck tribe. after school, went to meet jenisa! went to eat macs with her for lunch. was craving for macs. had so much fun!! she's the same as in sec1!! so much laughter about everything and nothing. haha! only the both of us will understand. went back to my crazy self. to the person i was. happy, relaxed! THANK YOU!!! one day we must meet up again!!!!! online now. take care of yourself okay!