okay, this is like my 4th post for tonight.... i don't know why i am posting so much. maybe its just because i want to say something on this blog but i just can't say it. you know the feeling of wanting to say but i can't cos it will hurt people's feelings, people will come after me, people will be worried about me. i guess some already are. so i am sorry. really, really sorry if i have worried you by what i have said on this blog or my msn name or whatever. i am already seeking help. from someone. someone i know that can help me and is willing to help me without inplicating others.

okay, i have been looking through my blog's post and i realise that most of the post are on unhappy stuff. so i am sorry! i will try not to post unhappy stuff any more! okay, i got to go already. bye!

okay, i am posting this song to say my feelings. indirectly saying it.

Seems like just yesterday
YOU WERE A PART OF ME
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
EVERYTHING, IT FELT SO RIGHT
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'M BARELY HANGING ON

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

I TOLD YOU EVERYTHING
OPENED UP AND LET YOU IN
YOU MADE ME FEEL ALRIGHT
FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE
NOW ALL THAT'S LEFT OF ME
IS WHAT I PRETEND TO BE
SO TOGETHER BUT BROKEN UP INSIDE
CAUSE I CAN'T BREATHE
NO, I CAN'T SLEEP
I'M BARELY HANGING ON

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

SWALLOW ME THEN SPIT ME OUT
FOR HATING YOU I BLAME MYSELF
SEEING YOU IT KILLS ME NOW
NO, I DON'T CRY ON THE OUTSIDE
ANY MORE

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

the lines in CAPITAL LETTERS are how i feel now! okay, maybe everyone should jsut ignore this. i am just puttin what i am feeling. i don't even think people will know who i talking about. even the person may not know. since we don't talk now!

oh, thanks a lot si yao! for caring about me! and giving me a bit of hope perhaps? i don't really know how to explain it. but yeah, just wanted to thank you! just now what you said on msn was a sort of comfort to me. like what i needed.

today was okay. thanks a lot amanda!!!!!!!!! you really are a true friend! and i am really glad to have a friend like you!

well, there are some things that i have found out that i didn't want to find out.

any way, rgss has like 2 netball courts! OMG! i'm envious.... still, i think our team rocks more then the rgss one! right?????(this is for lc to read!)

today woke at 9 plus. did a bit of work then went with aunt to fetch cousin from her school. went to grandma's house for lunch. stayed there and played for a while then slept! until about 3 plus. aunt picked us at 4 and we went to my house. played comp and taiti... watched tv, had dinner, did work. then cousin left. still, i did my work... and now on the comp. was forced to play the piano just now! today for the first time for a long time didn't go to grandma's house for dinner. cos granddad is staying....granddad, hurrry get well soon.

so that's why i am online so early today. but very boring.... there's really no one to talk to. someone come online!

hmmm, i think someone is avoiding me again.... well, maybe its just a feeling. i hope it will pass soon.

any way, happy valentine's day! okay, i got to go. bye to the readers of this blog!(if there are any)