i hope that you do know that i really want to talk to you. cos i really do. but i am just afraid you would push me to the side..... or that i may say things to hurt you further? i want to continue this friendship of ours, but i've decided to keep away. maybe its the right thing to do. i guess this week may be the last chance. whatever it is, i am really sorry.

pics from dining etiquette course

nat, peirong and me!!

nadia!

ida!

kim, ming, tina, loret!

nadia, nat, claris, ming, kim!

12 of us!!!! group shot!!!

karthika and me!!

nadia! (this was not taken by me!!!)

ming and me!

siti and me!

abigail and gomathi!

grace and me!!!

abigail and gomathi!

abigail and gomathi!!!

abigaila and gomathi!

peirong, ming, nadia, loret

claris, ida, loret!!!

kim!!!

tina!

grace!

claris, peirong, nat!

the meat(one out of two of the main course)

nadia and teryn!

nat and ming!

nadia

ming, zann, teryn, nadia!

tina, loret, ida!

fish!(one of two choices for main course)

could not sleep till late last night, kept thinking about stuff. worry. any way, today was okay. wanted to talk to someone, but had no chance to. went to school, talked friends. had assembly. then had class family time. did a prayer and theme for next year. discussed the TRLF stuff. went for chinese. miss chiew was not there. for one period, no teacher. was bored. talked to Abigail and Euginia. played Uno with them. then cheat. bell rang for recess. went for recess. sat with ida and kim. janice and elspeth came over. talked for a while. went to the end toilet(at the old gym room) to change with nat and peirong. got everything ready. wore high heels instead of court shoes. went to the foyer. found almost all the 2c people there and tina as well. walked here and there feeling soo hot! met up with some classmates. finally got to put our bags in a classroom and took out small bag. lined up and went on a bus.sat with claris.

reached the singapore flyer. went into this dining place for the etiquette course. sat in fours.... sat with loret, ida and claris. talk and talk. about social etiquette. how to sit properly, how to do this and that properly. it was sooo cold!!! at least the place where i sat was cold!! had a toilet break of 5 min. went out and just stood around. to get warm. went inside again. then had to form groups of 8. went to the real dining area to sit at the tables. was with nadia, teryn, claris, ming, nat, peirong, zann. had another talk about westurn dining etiquette. then had lunch! first course was SALAD!! and to think that i actually ate salad... well, not all of it, just a bit. second course was MUSHROOM SOUP!!! yay yay yay!!!! the type of soup that i like!!!! next came main course. ate fish. it was nice. and so was the potato thing... after that came dessert. was fruits... didn't really like it. did a survey then took bus back to school. sat with claris. abigail was just behind. talked to gomathi and abigail!! reached school, saw a bit of training from a distance. then went home!!!!

a bit tired.... but my mind is not really anything except someone..... hmmmm ,can't seem to get the incidents out of my mind..... help me!!!

i can't take it any more. sometimes i wonder if it really is the right thing to do. i wonder if it was really the right thing to say. i wonder if it was the right time. well, its over. and nothing can change the fact. i hate myself. why can't i just be the person that you want me to be. instead of being the total opposite. and in the end, i've to hide stuff from you. when i tell you something, it hurts you. does this actually make sense? does this mean the end already?

tmr is another day. another day in school. will things turn out alright like last time? will you be able to forgive me again and again for all that i've done? or shall we just stop this crazy thing and leave once and for all. i don't know. i don't know how you are feeling right now. i don't know how to feel. i'm in this confused world of mine. because of myeself. right, it might not make sense, but i can't say any more.

i want to stop.really want to stop. but sometimes i can't. we are sooo different. how we managed to continue until now, its a marvel. i still want to maintain this friendship of ours. but if it will end up nowhere, what's the point? why continue hurting each other?

i was wondering if i should post this up... but maybe i just should. its one in a million chance that this person i am talking about is you. cos i am talking about more then one person here.

today was a slack day. its the usual after end of year exams. cannot find anything to do. cos before exams are always study and study and study which takes up most of my time. if not its resting so that i won't feel bored and sleep halfway studying. any way, its over! so can relax. planning to do my timetable for the hols soon. to get myself studying and not be lazy around the house. well, there is training almost every week. which is good! at least i won't feel bored and be at home in an empty house. with parents only in for about 5 waking hours on weekdays. its so quiet at home. and there is a limit to the amount of time that i can spend on the comp without feeling bored. calling for entertainment during the hols!!!

well, slept at 4.30am today and woke up at 9.30am! a bit early. read books and had breakfast in bed!!! slacked around the house. went out with parents and grandma to anchorpoint for lunch. walked round the place. walked into a flower shop... but its not a shop that sells real flowers. was so nice! and so cheap!!! any way, went back home again and slept! cos was so sleepy. went to grandma's house. sat in the dining room from 8 to 10.30. talked to  grandma and dad. fetched mum from her dinner place and now at home on the comp! its getting boring on the comp. i'm stopping(or trying to stop) my anime craze... but somehow got into jap and korean songs. help!

well, time to post again!
wednesday
we got back all our results... didn't fail any, but also did not do extremely well.
for those who want to know,


d&t-A2(one more mark to A1! i wanted an A1)
art-B3(expected)
english- A2(yay! highest English mark)
chinese-B3(expected)
lit-B4(wanted to get an A but was almost impossible-this is my lowest score!!!)
science-A1!!!!( was happy, but my phy did a lot worse then bio)
math-A1!!!!(did not get the mark that i aimed for but its still an A1 right??)
history-A1!!!!(history rocks!!!!)


so we spent almost the whole day at school going through papers.....:( not very happy with my marks. only happy for English, Chinese and History. after that had training. i don't think i will elaborate on wednesday's training.


thursday
was in the hall for the whole day. was called by miss mok to the canteen for a talk before school started. then went to the hall for oral com briefing. speech competition.... recess.... 1 hour of 'free time' in the hall, actually, it was just teachers who came in and talked to us about our English stuff. had a talk by some police people on crime. went back to the classroom for about an hour. signed final marks list.... saddening.... went home! talked on the phone then went online. went to ikea with parents for dinner! was sleepy around 9 plus and slept around 11!

today
had training! was fun as usual. did not reallly run much but my stamina has dropped and i was super tired. saw some of the dining course people.... well, i still don't know what to wear. and there's two more days to decided.... not very long... will be missing monday's training. after that, went home.... went on the comp, slept, now on the comp again!

i'm trying to reach about 300 posts before end of year.

any way, today was fun!!! woke up at 7.10. ate breakfast then slept again till about 8. got an sms from Ida. changed and all and went to school. could not find the rest and panicked but went to the canteen. saw them there. sat and talked. then went to the green umbrella place. waited and talked about ideas. for the class project. finally miss quek came and we got our tasks. went to the library then comp lab. partnered isabel(or is it isabelle?) for the thing. must find out about singapore. did research and all. after that saw a cat outside HOD room. was so cute! kim, ching yi and i went to play with it! soo cute!!!!!!!!! went back. had to print out the slides we did. went to find the other 2c people and miss koh to discuss. was only with them for half and hour. then had to go *somewhere*.......... for *something*


that's all for today
after that, went to vivo to meet shareen. got tickets for a show. and wanted to go for late lunch. we went in... then realised we had no time, so went out again! rushed to vivo side(we walked to harbour front). then bought stuff for the movie. we went to the second floor of the cinema and had to wait outside cos we were a bit early. finally got inside! the show was great! after that, walked round. went to toys  r us and candy  empire then went home.

pics of today's sentosa trip!

scenery!

tree!!!!!

mum and cousin!

cousin and me!!!!

something on siloso beach

shadow!!!!

another shadow!

some island opposite the siloso beach

water!

another shadow

my initials!!!

my initials again!!!

cousin's half completed heart shape

mum and me! the shot was a bit close!

cousin's finished heart!

a cute monkey! there were a lot of monkeys! this is the roof of the delifrance at siloso beach.

the past two days were mostly fun!

let's start with saturday!
well, woke up late.... cos slept late the night before. was trying to finish a show.. but didn't really work, didn't finish it. did not do much on saturday. was on the comp for quite a while. went to grandma's house for dinner as usual. cousin and her parents were there! but my other aunt and uncle was not. had fun! played taiti with cousin and dad. then grandma came in and they watched boys over flowers. got bored so went outside! after that we all went home. was on the comp again still trying to finish my show!

yesturday
woke up a bit late. watched tv as a favourite show was on. then got ready. went to fetch my cousin from red hill MRT. we went to revenue house for sushi! its THE place we always go for sushi! after lunch, we came home. was on the comp with my cousin. continued the show! and talked on msn. wanted to play tennis at 5 but people were playing so went for a swim instead. for like 1 hour plus? came up and bathed. the swim was fun at first but then became boring as time went on. we had nothing to play with in the water so used our goggles instead. but they sang to the bottom, so it was more of a challenge. went on the comp again. was thinking of where to go for dinner. in the end, went to vivo. wanted to eat at KFC but it was too crowded so we went to the food court instead. we went back. wanted to build a tent in my room. had so much fun! we had about 4 blankets and a lot of pegs. we pegged the blanket here and there but we could not fix it properly. well, after half and hour, we were still not done. rather, we had nothing up at all. in the end, we just any how peg it here and there and it worked! so we had a 'camp' under the blankets(we only used two in the end) and used the comp under it! was so fun! it reminded me of the time when we were both still young and each time my cousin stayed over, we would build a different type of tent. such fond memories... just right for last night.... cos of something! not saying here. but i miss those young times. glad that we still build the tent... any way, after that we used the comp till about 12. cousin went to sleep but i continued on. had to do some last minute stuff alone.....

today!
woke up around 7 i think. ate, packed and bathed. helped to hang clothes then we left. for sentosa!!!! we went to the imbieh lookout and took the bus to siloso beach.was supposed to go to beach station but went to the underwater world one instead. my mistake. we saw the beach and thought it was the beach station. was actually siloso beach. we just went there any way. we played a bit in the water. then build something on the sand. some heartshaped thing. cousin did it. was sitting on the mat on the beach sand. then took photos before buying hotdog and fries and a drink. sat and ate and cousin saw her schoolmates. took the bus back and sat the luge and skyride. we did it twice. was so fun! the luge was great! could drive it properly at least! and fast! yay yay yay! the sky ride was a bit hot. no, change it to very hot! and we were wearing slippers so we were scared it will suddenly drop! was fun though. we met mum at subway then went back to change and relax. went on the comp again. my cousin and i like to use the comp a lot!!!!! after that slept a bit cos was tired. skipped lunch but went to vivo for tea. ate at starbucks. had a scone and a cake!!!!! super!!!!!!!! was very full after that. we went to page one and i walked round the place. twice?? could not find a good book so did not buy. then cousin got a book and we fetched her to redhill MRT where she went home and we went home too!

slept at home. then woke up and used the comp. watching tv and using the comp now! had fun with my cousin!! wish she could have stayed longer. a lot of things happened this weekend. not only did my cousin come, a lot of other things happened. hopefully they can be solved. and A, i am sorry...

lastly, i am watching project hope. prayers to the victims of the floods and the other natural disasters. call and help! it is so sad! wish them good luck! and remember! how lucky we are!

hmmm, posting... i don't know what to post about. its just to keep my blog alive.

well, i have been kind of free after exams. and trying to not worry about results. its coming out on wednesday!(i think) any way, got another project on hand. last project with 2c!!!! :( sad! two more weeks of sec2 life and life with 2c before saying goodbye!!! :(

okay, that's all for now... short post! oh yeah, cousin's coming!:)

so exam week is finally over! can relax! well, not really. still have to worry about training. can't wait for it but i must also make sure i train hard to get into top 12. :( actually, during the exam week, also relaxed a bit. callled abigail and yoges several times.

sunday
stayed at home. finally a sunday with no tuition at all! but had to study. did a bit of science and history. then the rest of the day was spent on lit. trying my best to get all i can do for poem and prose. cos i can't do it! so just did research. and also on the literary devices. and mood, atmosphere, tone!!!! so hard to study for lit!

monday
went to school a bit early. just revised for lit. again. tried to remember all the things i have learnt and all. the paper was tough! i forgot to add in what i thought of the poem and prose. well, i think that i may fail lit.... hoepfullly not, but there is a huge possibility that i will..... we ended at 9.20! then went home to study for history. wanted to sleep cos was sleepy but could not. 8 chapters of history! from the textbook, the small book that i have and from the powerpoint. so it was a lot of work! could not sleep cos wanted to make sure that i got all the facts right. in the end, felt too sleepy to continue so slept.

tuesday
went to school and revised history again. the paper was not too bad. could have been worse. but i just hope that i got all the points right. and answered properly. aiming for A for history. i think if my history gets an A, it will be clear cut that i do history instead of goeg. any way, we ended at 10. then went home to get ready for science. this time slept for a while first. it worked! could absorb more after sleeping... still, felt that i was not prepared and slept late again!

wednesday
revised science after reaching school. there were two cats that were outside the HOD room that were on the edge of fighting.... they were so loud! could hear them from the foyer and from class. almost forgot about duty! rushed to 1A. science was okay. bio was easier then phy! i think i may take bio over phy. finally relaxed a bit cos only have math left. ended at 10. went home and relaxed for a while, but still did a lot of math sums. i thought that paper 2 would be tougher then paper 1.

thursday
reached school, did a bit of math, then had paper 2. was easier then i thought it would be. but still, i hope i have no careless mistakes. that will lead to my downfall of math paper 2. ended at 9.15. went home and also relaxed. thought that paper 1 would be easier then paper 2. then called abigail. got worried that because paper2 was easier then i thought it would be, paper1 will be tougher. so studied more. slept later then usual.

friday
school started late. at 8. was supposed to assemble in the hard court. then whilst studying, there was this sudden loud thunder sound!! began to pack my bag cos it was going to rain and had to go up. well, some teachers came to chase us up. had assembly in classroom. did not forget about duty!!! had paper till 9.45(around there). was not too bad. we started early! yay! and we were noisy! well, we were noisy almost all the days after the exams. asked people from 2D! and they said that yeah, we were super noisy.:( after that went out with jiayi and meiyi! anjila could not come!!!!!!!:(

took 65. sat on the upper deck. sat with jiayi and meiyi and nadia was in front of us! talked and laughed about stuff. ended up going to the same place. plaza singapura! nadia then left with band friends( i think). any way, all the shops were closed. so we really window shopped. looked through the windows!! then we finally went into shops to look around. went to spotlight, daiso, comics connection, yamaha etc!!!!!!!!!!!!! had lunch too. ate ban mian! first time. then went to Istana Park to look around. the water feature and the path ways with flowers were so nice!

took train to orchard. walked from Ion to Wheeklock place(can't spell it). went into borders. walked round. then went home on 143. talked on the phone with twin! went on msn and slept too! really relaxed already! yay! yay! yay! today was so fun with jiayi and meiyi!

monday
was chinese SA2 exam. was hard. i didn't really understand the compo... so just wrote stupid stuff. then had  1 and a half hour of recess. tallked to anjila and jiayi.. and meiyi for a while. then studied a bit of chinese. went for the paper 2. was not too bad but past can already! then again, no! must do well! after school went to tammie's house for gym rountine. couldn't work it out. but slept late cos must do the rountine... and still could not remember it.

tuesday
did gym routine for PE. was the lsat group to go and could not remember the steps so my group and i messed up. any way, it already ate into our recess time so couldn't care less. then went to the general office to find a solution for my locker. cos the lock could not work! irritating. we had a talk on subject combos for like 2 hours plus. then we were given the survey to fill in. for history, we got back our cds.. well, i was happy wiht my marks. i didn't think that i would get so high but then again.... i could also have gotten higher. that's all for today.

wednesday
nothing much happened. just kept thinking about subject combo. well, i have a small idea of what to take.... so far... any way, was our lasat d&t lesson today. and i finished my product! so happy! thankfully i finished design journal before class so have more time for the product making cos i need the time! i took so long for polishing and bending! like 1 hour plus! maybe cos i am slow. any way, thanks to meiyi and her drawing, i got the pic for the photoframe! and for the decorations for the frame, i could not get moon but i got a black background so i got stars instead.... well, at least it is the night sky right? even if there is no moon... hope my d&t will do well! i want an A1 for d&t. the more As i get for SA2, the better. well, there goes our last d&t lesson! nothing much to say already.

thursday
went to the netball court to shoot and play half court. NETBALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!:) miss netball. and played GS. i want to play GA again maybe next time. had to meet mr francis for the leadership module 2 thing. we must invite our parents, a friend and a teacher to the last day of the camp, for the investiture! so parents are sure going.... but i had to decide on the teacher and friend! well, i got my teacher done already! asked mrs dehamel today!:) and friend should be Janice.:D so done!!!!!! well, today we had two lit periods! and realised that i have prose and poem for SA2! PROSE AND POEM! NOT JUST POEM! be prepared to see me failing my lit! well, for IT, we had to test our bridge out. and mine broke. cos he measured the base and not the whole bridge! unfair mr wong!!!!!!!! any way, don't fail me for the bridge! there goes our last IT. watched army days during English.

friday
today again played half court before assembly. still can't get used to fridays starting at 8.cos i woke up at 6... usual time.. then ate breakfast and realised that school started late so slept till 7. then changed and went to school. well, had another subjects combo talk. now its for science. so i am back to where i was... thinking of what to chooose! had math. recess.... phy..... history... and music. well, nothing much to elaborate for all these. and my music grade as of now is 58!!!!!!!!! C5! but must still add in the music reflections and all.. so hopefully i can get higher then this. finally got my new locker lock!!!!!! yay!!!!!!!!! but must remember the new pin.

well, i don't really know what subject combo to take.
7 or 8 subjects?
chem + bio OR chem + phy?
history OR geog WITH lit?

well, i did decide on 2A... but i may change my mind...

and well, there goes our last IT and last d&t lesson. so no more art, IT and d&t already! a bit sad... but still! here comes SA2 first! its on monday! must study already. though its 1.10 already!

hmmmm, yesturday was the graduating students last day.... so sad!!!!!!!!!!! the school will be quieter again.. like last year when the graduating students left! :(
goodbye Yuxin, Shiqian, Denise and Amira! will really miss you all! thank you for everything!
well, any way, it today mid autumn festival??? i don't know... no one said anything and there is no party at my house area.... although my parents say its today. i can't see the full moon:( nothing much to say today. just studies!

let's post!

yesturday was e learning again. the work was not as tough. easy! finished it so much earlier then wednesday. then studied..... cos of SA2! english!

today
went to school. around 7 plus. today was the sec4 express, nt and 5 na last day! so sad!!!!!!!!!!! *cry*. then just read the english compo book. then looked at the netball court.some were playing there. after that heard about the report writing. got scared cos we didn't learn. then went with kim and nadia to the track to ask miss donna koh about it. miss koh! you owe us two rounds! and the report writing did not even come out!

so we went up to class. sheryl ng fell on the stairs and just sat there. was super funny! well, had exam. the compo topics were so hard! i didn't know what to choose so i did letter first. and i got the format wrong for the recipent's address. there goes one mark! welll, one mark can mean a lot! espacially for my english cos i am not good at english. then did the compo. did 4a. wrote about my grandma.

we had a long recess. cos the paper ended at 10.15. and the next paper was at 11.30. well, went to the canteen and got food. then ate. sat with anjila, jiayi, meiyi and xiulin. well, spent the whole recess with anjila and jiayi... but did find abigail to pay mildred the money. finally! after eating we went to the library to get aircon. then went up to class. sat outside class with anjila and jiayi. talked about POT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! haha

any way, had compre. passage A was bad! passage B was better. summary was okay. well, got back our phy test. failed it!!!!!!!!! and went to the theatherette(can't spell it) for lamda exams. any way, went back after that. just studied at home and went our for dinner at night. nothing much happened.

okay! posting again. its 1.40 already. but i am not sleeping. not sleepy. just hearing to jap songs. finally got a bit into jap songs... with english subs. cos i still can't understand japanese(it will take a long time to). arashi's believe is nice!  go and hear it?

well, today was..... horrible..... why? cos homebased learning is horrible! its work for almost every subject. and there is still another day of it tmr! but the good thing is that i only have lit from today left! cos i don't know how to do it. so today i just spent it at home, doing work the whole day! only stopped to rest for lunch, dinner, a short nap and go and find some stuff in clementi.

2 more days to english SA2,
5 days to chinese SA2

scared!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

time to post! so this week has been okay so far. had chinese orals! on monday. not too bad. assembled in 401 at 2.15. waited till like 3.40 or so before it was 2c's turn to have the chinese orals. read chinese passages till like 2.45? 2.45 to 3 did a bit of math homework. 3-3.30 or so sat with anjila, jiayi and meiyi. talked! and maybe it was a bit loud... but if waws fun talking to them. about POT and Fuji Syuusuke(only those who read or watch Prince of tennis will understand! :)) finally was my turn for orals. read the passage. had 5 minutes. then was asked to go to teacher number 5. walked and walked... was praying i would get a good teacher.... walked... passed ms foo. she asked if i had finished. i said no.. then she was like where are you going? i said that i was asked to go to teacher number 5! and it was band 1's teacher. lin lao shi i think... was not too bad. the passage was bad though. cos i skipped and skipped and pronounced words wrongly. hope i passed that. the conversation was great! but at first she said the conversation topic.my expression:huh? then she explained. i heard a  'ming pai huo(branded goods)' somewhere and then was asked how i felt about it. so i just tried and guessed and it was okay in the end!

today
nothing much. PE was gym.... had to do routine! not going too great. ve, we spent the time doing a reflection. for patron's day. i don't like reflections. they are so long! its like one 4 mark question, one 6 mark question and one 15 mark question!!! any way, the rest of the day was just lessons. that's all!

tmr is home based learning, no school!

pics from the chij 155th concert

sunset!

abergale! and ayilisha!

tanmin and abigail!

tanmin!

abigail!

sunset!

sunset!

abigail, abergale

mildred!

trisha and abergale

3 of us!

me and guess who????

abergale, ayilisha, me, abigail!

the stage!

christina! (and mr francis is behind)

lixian!

abigail!

lixian and christina