sajc fun fair tmr and i can't go. didn't even go for acjc's fun fair and probably can't go for njc's. i'm starting to wonder what kind of friend i am. promise to keep in contact after leaving stc, but i'm not making the effort. promise to talk but i keep procrastinating and waiting for them to text or call instead of me doing it. after all, if they wanted to talk then they would have already tried to right? but its always me making the first move, so maybe they're waiting for me. wonder how those friends of mine are now. busy? have they made new friends? anything major happening in their lives? okay, maybe i talk to like 1 or 2, but not all! sometimes i'm starting to think if i'm worthy to be friends with someone. like when my friend lost her phone recently during dance, i helped her by lending the laptop to search for her iphone but didn't really physically help her look for her phone around the school. all i did was to try and calm her down. next day, didn't ask whether she found her phone until much later in the day. and she said thank you to me for helping her, although i really didn't do much.

 or maybe it should be time to move on and treasure those around me in JJ. treasure them so much more!