christmas is over! okay, i am going to share with you a poem. i just thought it might help other out there who might neeed it. like it helped me when i read it. so enjoy!

outside you see me smiling
and floating through each day
a little tired, a little thin
but overall okay

but you didn't hear my anguished thoughts
which surface every night
they plague me, huant me, taunt me
untill i'm too weak to fight

and so, next day, i come to school
with deeeply shawdowed eyes
i smile, laugh and speak on cue
living a pack of lies

a silent scream echoes inside,
reaction to my lie-
until with no warning, it erupts
and i crumble down and cry

come fine me, help me, make it stop
no! keep out, go away!
for if you come, i've no control
over the words i say

cab't you hear my silent scream?
decipher what i hide?
so come and ask me what is wrong,
come and sit down by my side

if nothing else then please read through
this tangled web i weave
for you are really not the one
i'm trying to decive

help me, i don't know what i want
i've lost my guiding light
please hold me, let me cry and say
somehow you'll make it right

perhaps, deep down, i know what's wrong,
what keeps me awake
what is the source of my tears
and ever there heartache

but not yet can i face it,
or maybe i just won't
please, someone help me understand-
god onl knows i don't